Sam Murray opens up on his ongoing drug ban and the family tragedy that rocked him during a chat with Danny Kennedy on The Fitness and Lifestyle Podcast.
Kennedy has become close with Murray and is training the 2018 NAB AFL Rising Star nominee three times a week in a bid to prepare him for a third AFL shot, after stints at Sydney and Collingwood.
Murray said it was still unclear how his positive test occurred, but that there was enough evidence to suggest it was unintentional and that's why he avoided the maximum four-year suspension.
"I didn't intentionally go out and touch cocaine, and I've proven that in a court of law to the judges," Murray said.
"I didn't go out and 'get on it'. The Wednesday night before (the test), I had come into inadvertent contact with it, so I didn't understand how this had happened.
"For a long time, I didn't know what had happened, so that was probably the hardest bit, because I could have been playing in a Grand Final … Collingwood made the Grand Final and I was playing consistently."
One of the lesser-known elements of this saga is Murray's long-term difficulty with his mental health.
"I was struggling heavily with anxiety and the thing with anxiety is the best way to deal with it is to have things in place you can fall back on," he said.
"That's why I was OK in football … then when I got out of the system and didn't have football, didn't have structure, didn't have anything … I found myself completely lost."
Murray also described the impact of his 13-year-old cousin's death last year in a farming accident which occurred not long after his provisional ban became public.
"I thought my stuff was bad with football but then I got this and it put it into perspective," he said.
"You know what that was for me? That was the kick, that as bad as it is – and I don't wish that upon anyone – I realised my life was OK and how lucky we are as humans to wake up every day."